Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
