on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
