she was so not down for the gang bang
he thought i was a dude.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
