This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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