I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
