my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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