she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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