I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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