I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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