Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
