Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
