It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
