just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
