Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
