East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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