I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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