I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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