State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
