she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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