They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do herpes really smell.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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