After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
