I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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