Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
