Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
