Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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