Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize