Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
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I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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