Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
