The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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