You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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