return my video game
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
