at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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