FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
