weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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