Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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