Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
