Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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