He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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