Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
