They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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