i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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