I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
