u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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