I have demons in me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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