I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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