If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
