I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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