I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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