It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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