I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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