according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my liver is dry heaving
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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