Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
