God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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