sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
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What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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