Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Even my vagina gasped.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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