we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
