Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
