Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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