Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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