she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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