Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
