I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
