i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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