Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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