He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
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