McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
